在这个个人陈述开头，学生展示了他对化学的兴趣从何而来。添加一些额外的学术细节（科学家的名字）有助于引导读者了解他为什么对这个主题感兴趣。

This aspect of Chemistry is important to me. I have, for example, used machine learning to differentiate between approved and experimental drugs. On the first run, using drug molecules from the website Drug Bank, I calculated some molecular descriptors for them. I started with a simple logistic regression model and was shocked to find that it had apparently classified almost all molecules correctly. This result couldn't be right; it took me nearly a month to find the error. I accidentally normalized the molecular-descriptor data individually, rather than as a combined data set, thereby encoding the label into the input. On a second run, after fixing the error, I used real machine learning libraries. Here I actually got some performance with my new algorithm, which I could compare to professional researchers’ papers. The highest accuracy I ever saw on my screen was 86 percent. The researchers' result was 85 percent; thanks to more modern machine learning methods, I narrowly beat them.

I have also studied Mathematics and Physics at A Level and have been able to dive into areas beyond the A Level syllabus such as complex integration in math and the Schrödinger equation in Physics.

这段文章清楚地说明了该学生对化学的能力和兴趣。他详细解释了他是如何探索他的意向专业的，并用学术术语向我们展示他对这个主题的深入研究。知道招生官正在寻找该学生具有化学天赋的地方，本段为他们提供了录取他所需的理由。

Additionally, I have worked on an undergraduate computer science course on MIT Opencourseware, but found that the content followed fixed rules and did not require creativity. At the time I was interested in neural networks and listened to lectures by professor Geoffrey Hinton who serendipitously mentioned his students testing his techniques on 'Kaggle Competitions'. I quickly got interested and decided to compete on this platform. Kaggle allowed me to measure my machine learning skills against competitors with PhDs or who are professional data scientists at large corporations. With this kind of competition naturally I did not win any prizes, but I worked with the same tools and saw how others gradually perfected a script, something which has helped my A Level studies immensely.

这里引入一个新主题，学生再次使用学术术语来展示他如何超越课程范围，在更高层次上探索该主题。在这一段中，他证明他已经学习了大学水平的化学。同样，这有助于招生官了解该学生有能力攻读化学学位。

I have been keen to engage in activities beyond the classroom. For example, I have taken part in a range of extracurricular activities, including ballroom dancing, public speaking, trumpet, spoken Mandarin, and tennis, achieving a LAMDA distinction at level four for my public speaking. I have also participated in Kaggle competitions, as I'm extremely interested in machine learning. For example, I have used neural networks to determine the causes of Amazon deforestation from satellite pictures in the 'Planet: Understanding the Amazon from Space' competition. I believe that having worked on projects spanning several weeks or even months has allowed me to build a stamina that will be extremely useful when studying at university.

倒数第二段用一句话概括介绍了学生的课外兴趣。那些可以展示并运用到化学研究的技能的活动给出了更多的描述。每句话中学生的描述都非常详细，有很多关于奖项、班级和老师的具体信息，可信度比较高。

What I hope to gain from an undergraduate (and perhaps post-graduate) education in Chemistry is to deepen my knowledge of the subject and potentially have the ability to successfully launch a startup after university. I'm particularly interested in areas such as computational Chemistry and cheminformatics. However, I’m open to studying other areas in Chemistry, as it is a subject that truly captivates me.

在结尾中，学生谈到了他未来的计划，使用了显示他的化学知识的特定术语。这也表明他的目标是在该领域从事相关职业，许多招生官认为这很有吸引力，因为它表明了学生对该学科有一定程度的投入。